I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
