After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you will always have a special place in my vag
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
