Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
