HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
whose parrot is this?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
