Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
