I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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