my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
