i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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