Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
