so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
