Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
