I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
