idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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