I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
