I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
