Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
