I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
