Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Let's get the cat blown out
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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