To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize