He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
