did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
