I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Operation Purity has been aborted
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
