thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize