just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
