Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
