Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
