so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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