Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
