That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
