All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
