holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
