just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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