What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
