I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
