If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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