being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
