shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
