margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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