Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
