His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
