i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
