Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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