her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
as a side note pls kill me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
