the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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