In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
