I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
