Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
