Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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