and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
