I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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