Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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