No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
