Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
