So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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