whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
