It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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