I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
