Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize