your parents love me but you hate me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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