So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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