Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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