You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
