this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
