I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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